What this Hillbilly Taught Me About the Sexual Revolution

He couldn’t stop laughing.

I had just told a non-Christian work colleague that Christians don’t believe in sex before marriage – and that included me, a then 24 year old young man. My colleague – a middle aged RAAF sergeant – was incredulous. In response, he went on to tell me his ‘when I was your age’ sexual exploits (things I really didn’t need to know).

It wasn’t the first time I felt out of place with my Christian sexual ethics, and it won’t be the last. Long gone are the days when our society held to (an approximate) Christian view of sex.

In its place has come the usurping power of the sexual revolution, transforming how our culture thinks about sex and marriage.

But like many revolutions, the sexual revolution has left a trail of destruction in its wake. And I saw this clearly in a haunting (and best selling) book, ‘Hillbilly Elegy – A Memoir Of A Family and Culture in Crisis’, by American author J.D. Vance.

Author J.D. Vance (photo courtesy wikipedia.com)

Vance describes his Hillbilly family history, and his upbringing. In it, he describes how the sexual revolution caused havoc in his family, and the wider Hillbilly community.

Far from bringing liberation, the revolution brought destruction to the most vulnerable – in his case, the white working class of America.

The Sexual Revolution Unleashed

Have a listen to how Vance describes his childhood, moving around with his mum, as she chased the promises of the sexual revolution. (Thankfully for Vance, his grandmother’s home leavened the pain of his childhood).

It’s worth quoting in detail:

Reams of social science attest to the positive effect of a loving and stable home. I could cite a dozen studies suggesting that my grandmother’s home offered me not just a short term haven, but also hope for a better life.

Consider my life before I moved in with my grandmother:

In the middle of the 3rd grade, we left Middletown and my grandparents to live in Preble County with Bob.

At the end of 4th grade, we left Preble County to live in a Middletown duplex on the 200 block of McKinley street.

At the end of 5th grade, we left the 200 block of McKinley street to move to the 300 block of McKinley street, and by that time Chip was a regular in our home (though he never lived with us).

At the end of 6th grade, we remained on the 300 block of McKinley street, but Chip had been replaced by Steve, and there were many discussions about moving in with Steve.

At the end of 7th grade, Matt had taken Steve’s place. Mum was preparing to move in with Matt, and Mum hoped that I would join her in Dayton.

At the end of 8th grade, she demanded that I move to Dayton, and after a brief detour at my Dad’s house, I acquiesced.

At the end of 9th grade, I moved in with Ken, a complete stranger, and his three kids.

On top of all that were the drugs, the Domestic Violence case, Children’s Services prying into our lives, and my grandfather dying.

Today, even remembering that period long enough to write it down invokes an intense indescribable anxiety in me.’

(Sadly Vance was not alone in his experience):

Not long ago, I noticed that a Facebook friend, an acquaintance from Highschool with similarly deep Hillbilly roots, was constantly changing boyfriends, going in and out of relationships, posting pictures of one guy one week, and another three weeks later.

She was fighting on social media with her new fling, until the relationship publicly imploded.

She is my age [32] with four children, and when she posted that she had finally found ‘a man who would treat her well’ – a refrain I had seen many times before – her 13 year old daughter commented: ‘Just stop. I want you and this to stop.’

He concludes:

I wish I could hug that little girl, because I know how she feels. For 7 long years, I just wanted it to stop. I didn’t care so much about the fighting, the screaming, or even the drugs. I just wanted a home, and I wanted to stay there, and I wanted the goddam strangers to stay the f*!# out.'

That is what it looks like for a culture to swallow the lie of the sexual revolution.

Sure, Vance's experience might sound a little extreme, but as Vance documents elsewhere in his book, 1 in 12 white working class kids in the USA will have 3 or more different stepdads as they grow up. That's a lot of instability to live through.

Telling the Truth About the Revolution's Victims

Glynn Harrision, in his book ‘A Better Story: God, Sex and Human Flourishing’ says that if Christians are to respond well to the sexual revolution, we must tell the stories of the victims of the revolution.

It’s these personal stories that show us how destructive the sexual revolution has been to people – especially to those with the least means of coping (i.e. children, and the less well off segments of society).

At the very least, Christians need to know these stories so that we aren’t sucked in by the promises of so-called ‘free love’ (which, as Vance found out, is never free).

And telling these stories opens up opportunities to talk about an even better story – God’s story for us, including for our sexuality.

Overcoming the Sexual Revolution With a Better Story

As Vance’s mother swallowed the lies of the sexual revolution, his father took a different path, and became a regular churchgoing Christian.

Vance noticed the difference between the romantic chaos of his mum’s life, and the stability of his dad’s new family. This difference was not lost on Vance, who writes:

Regular church attendees commit fewer crimes, are in better health, live longer, make more money, drop out of highschool less frequently, and finish college more frequently than those who don’t attend church at all.

And as Vance points out:

MIT economist Jonathan Gruber even found that the relationship was causal. It’s not just that people who live successful lives also go to church, it’s that church seems to promote good habits.”

Yes, the Christian revolution gave us many benefits. And one of them was a better story of our sexuality: we don’t have to chase ‘love’ or ‘sex’ to give our life meaning.

Instead, we have the love of God poured into our hearts through what Christ achieved for us…and so we’re free to serve others, rather than using them to fulfil our desires. It's a story of giving, rather than taking. This story might sound hard (and at times it is), but boy, it’s so liberating.

This 'better story' is all but forgotten by our secular neighbours, and the Christian sexual ethic is increasingly viewed with hostility by many in our culture.

And yet, as Vance’s story demonstrates, those who worship at the altar of the sexual revolution end up paying a price - as do the children: the very ones who are least able to cope with it.